Silly Willie's Pet Boutique in New Smyrna Beach, Florida » Pet Jokes

How many dogs are needed to change a light bulb?

vicki — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 12:52:14 +0000

How many dogs are needed to change a light bulb?

Golden Retriever:
The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie:
Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.

Dachshund:
You know I can’t reach that damned stupid lamp!

Rottweiler:
Make me.

Labrador:
Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I?
Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?

Malamute:
Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he’s busy.

Jack Russell Terrier:
I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Poodle:
I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Cocker Spaniel:
Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Doberman Pinscher:
While it’s dark, I’m going to sleep on the couch.

Boxer:
Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark……

Mastiff:
Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.

Chihuahua:
Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

Irish Wolfhound:
Can somebody else do it? I’ve got this hangover…..

Pointer:
I see it, there it is, there it is, right there….

Greyhound:
It isn’t moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd:
First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle…

Old English Sheep Dog:
Light bulb? I’m sorry, but I don’t see a light bulb?

German Shepherd:
Alright, everyone stop where you are! Who busted the light? I SAID, “STOP WHERE YOU ARE!!!”

Hound Dog:
ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz

Back to School

vicki — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 00:56:53 +0000

Joke
A dog had followed his owner to school. His owner was a fourth grader at a public elementary school. When the bell rang, the dog sidled inside the building and made it all the way to the child’s classroom with him before a teacher noticed him and shoo’ed him back outside, and closing the door behind him. The dog sat down outside the door, whimpering and staring at the closed doors and not understanding in the least as to why he was refused entry. Then – God appeared beside the dog, patted him on the head to comfort him, and said, “Don’t feel bad fella’…. they won’t let ME in there either.”

Who Gets The Dog?

admin — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 22:18:29 +0000

A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.

The group surrounded a dog. Concerned the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked, “What are you doing with that dog?”

One of the boys replied, “This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we’ve decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog.”

The reverend was taken aback. “You boys shouldn’t be having a contest telling lies!” he exclaimed. He then launched into a 10-minute sermon against lying, beginning, “Don’t you boys know it’s a sin to lie?” and ending with, “Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie.”

There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he’d gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, “All right, give him the dog.